May 16, 2003

You all know "Tamori." He is the man that hosts "Waratte Iitomo." Tamori is a guy (about 50 years old) from Fukuoka who wears dark glasses. When he first became famous he was a comedian. He made people laugh by pretending to talk in foreign languages. He would speak in German, French, Russian, Chinese - but only pretend. In fact he couldn't speak any of these languages, he just pretended to speak them. He made noises that sounded like he could speak in these languages. He was so funny it was painful. 

Have you tried being Tamori? For example, we all know what the annoucers from North Korea sound like. Try impersonating an announcer from Noth Korea! "Hahransah, kmamna janmara samni dah!" That is not North Korean. But it may sound like North Korean if you try. Tamori could do it. He could sound like he was speaking in French, Thai, German and Russian. Can you?

It is very difficult. In a way it should be the easiest thing in the world. To speak in a different language only by impersonating the sounds. No need to worry about grammar, pronunciation, vocabulary. No need to worry if it does not sound right. Just speak the way another language sounds to you. But in fact it is very difficult. We can all say "ju teimu" (French?) or "she she" (Chinese?) but when we try to say gobledigook ("detarame") it is very difficult. What is the problem?

The problem is that we don't like to say things that have no meaning. We find it really difficult to speak without saying anything. We hate to say just sounds. If we do not know what we are saying it is painful, difficult, embarassing. Some people say to me that they think that English is difficult. I say that they are wrong. The difficult thing is not knowing English vocabulary (1000 words is plenty - and more than half of them are loan words -- "gairaigo"). It is not difficult to learn English grammar. All you really need to remember is the word order: Subject Verb Object.

So what is difficult about speaking English? It is difficult to let go of your own language. It is difficult to jump off that diving board, from meaning into a sea of non-meaning. It is only natural to feel a sense of panic and to think, "Aaaah, I don't know what I am saying!" But if you can get over this feeling then you are half way to being able to speak English. Try to practice saying gobbledygook (chinpunkanpun, tawagoto, nansensu). When you can be Tamori, you can forget your embarassment, forget your shyness, and just speak English. Speaking English is easy. Take it from me. I speak really bad Japanese.

Photo copyright © 2003 Curtis Knapp